Law of Life

The following is an essay I composed for my English class. The prompt was vague an oddly worded, something along the lines of "explain a law by which you live your life".

One of my favorite books is Nicolo Machiavelli’s The Prince. Although it was originally a manual for the art of statecraft, it contains a great many pieces of advice useful for everyday life. One quote from the book has stuck with me ever since the first time I read it. “A ruler cannot rely upon what he sees happen in peaceful times…because then everyone comes running, everyone is ready with promises, and everyone wants to die for him, when the prospect of death is far off.” In laymen’s terms, true friends are those who stick by us when we’re down and out, because it’s easy to be a friend to someone at the pinnacle of success. My life has been one big illustration of the truth in this statement.

In elementary school, I had a very best friend- let’s call her Lisa. Lisa and I spent all our time together, pretending we were grown-ups, dancing around my living room, swinging on the playground. One day, as they often do, the clouds came and obstructed the sun that was our friendship. I said some things that were very unpopular in class. Lisa and I had a little spat over something that doesn’t matter now, and just like that, our friendship was over. I realized then, for the first time, that not everyone who claims to be a friend will be there forever.

I had a very best friend in middle school as well. I knew Sarah and I would be friends forever, and I never doubted it for a moment. But then, once high school began, with its stress and its petty fights, we rapidly grew apart. She wasn’t prepared to stand by me when mean kids poked fun at my eccentricities or when our other friends fought. Boys and schoolwork came between us; she was jealous of my every action and she didn’t have time for my problems. Suddenly, my very best friend was gone, for the second time in my life.

I started blaming myself at that point. I was convinced that it was my responsibility to be the best friend a person could have and never to be whiny or brutally honest or do anything that could make a situation awkward. After all, I didn’t have a best friend any more. It did not cross my mind that the issues might have lain in the instable and superficial natures of my relationships.

I was still crying over my crumbling friendship with Sarah when I looked around and noticed people I’d never seen before. They had been standing by me all along, but I was so wrapped up in silly, immature friendships, that I hadn’t seen them. Suddenly, my life took a wrong turn again. I began to fight with my father constantly, I went through a painful breakup, and I lost my job. I was angry, resentful, and sad all of the time. Lisa or Sarah would have separated themselves from me. I was too much to deal with, too complicated, a buzzkill. Something amazing happened, however. The friends I’d had all along were still there. They handed me Kleenex, listened to my ranting, gave lots of hugs, commiserated, and forced me to do things that would take my mind off of my problems.  Now, those people are my very best friends.

Like Machiavelli said, everyone is willing to die for you when the prospect of death is far off. Little girls will make vows of everlasting friendship and say they’ll love you through thick and thin, but until they’ve been through the thin, their promises have to be taken at face value. A true friend is one that stays with you when you’re sad, angry, immature, or unattractive. The people that belong in your corner are those that have always been there, even when the going got tough.